Zibah: Book Nerd

I have always loved reading books (text books are definitely not included). I started my reading journey with comic books (shout-out to “Archie and friends” and “Spider man”). My opinion back then was that books that lacked illustrations deserved to be burnt and the Author bludgeoned to death (bless my black heart, I was a creepy kid). As I grew older, I graduated to reading comprehension passages only from English text-books cc Ugo.C.Ugo et al., (remember that? C’mon, we all studied it for Common Entrance Examination. It is one of those books easily remembered by the lead author… Ababio anyone??).

Can guys be ‘dudes in distress” for once?

Ronnie: Oh! Kiss me Dracula
From passages with little or no illustration little Zibah moved up to reading children novels like Arabian Night Tales, Famous Five, Lamb Tales from Shakespeare, Tom Sawyer, Goosebumps (they used to scare the bejesus out of me). I even read a couple of Babysitters and Mary Kate and Ashley. I gradually began to lose interest in books with illustrations and out of the blues I developed a thing for Silhouette, Mills and Boon, Harlequin and the entire romance novel shebang. Yea! Yea!! I got spoilt at an early age, I do believe I experienced my first erection consuming content from this genre of books.
I continued with romance novels for several years till I could predict a book in this genre by reading just the first few pages. Another thing that angered my young heart was how perfect the main characters were; the heroines/babes were always  pretty with large creamy bosoms capable of suffocating a grown man, flat stomach (not the Michelin tyres most Nigeria women seem to fancy), spotless skin, ass to rival that of a female Yoruba trader at Mushin Market in Lagos State, Nigeria (with no stretch mark or discolorations though) and the hero/dude always had the face of a god; chiseled jaw, 6 packed abs, Vin Diesel’s voice and rock-hard ass and a huge pecker. I had none of these. Suffice to say it was time to move on to a new genre, I had grown bored.
See why I grew bitter? m&B mb
See why I grew bitter?

Over the years, I flirted with various categories; drama and detective to suspense and presently, Sci-fi. This I reckon started a few years ago when I was still enjoying a flighty romance with detective novels.

From hardcovers and reading at night with a kerosene lamp or the light from my Nokia 3310 mobile phone I graduated to Ebooks. E-books where a blessing, I could have over 50 books on my device and not worry about it fitting into my back pocket or my bag. It also effectively put a stop to paying for books from my local vendor where I happened to be his only male customer.
As a rule now, I always have an android device with my entire collection of books. Why Android? Its open-source, my books are in .epub format, Android devices are cheaper than Apples’ *rants incoherently in geek-speak*. My best reading experience was undoubtedly with my Google Nexus 7 tablet.

Presently, I can proudly say that I have read every J.K Rowling’s Harry Potter, Pittacus Lore’s ‘I am number 4’, Rick Riordan’s ‘Percy Jackson’ and ‘Kane’s Chronicle’, Richelle Mead’s ‘Vampire Academy and Black Swan’, Simon R Greene’s “DeathStalker”, “Nightside”, “Drood “, Jim Butcher’s “Dresden Files” sequels and I’m not  ready to quit. I had to dial down my consumption of Vampire books after I started drinking blood from bowls and screaming people’s necks in my dreams.

Moving on to the African scene, I would always respect literature from the Maestros; Ngugi wa Thiong’o (Weep Not Child was an awesome read), Late Chinua Achebe, Cyprian Ekwensi, Eddie Iroh and the newer bloods; Chimamanda Adichie, El-nukoya to mention a few. I agree I don’t consume local contents as much as I do foreign ones but when I come across the occasional stunners like Okechukwu Ofili’s “How stupidity saved my life” I beam at my African heritage.

My book-reading journey has led me thus far to a hybrid genre of fiction, sci-fi, mysticism, adventure, witty-humor and omega-level suspense expertly combined and presented in an awe-inspiring, seat-grabbing, mouth-gaping, ass-farting (chuckles, I’m gross, deal with it) style. I have to be able to connect with the protagonist; feel his/her emotions: anger, hurt, loss, confusion. I have to back-bite and pray the antagonist suffers from intense diarrhea and dies in a toilet. I wouldn’t settle for anything less in a book.

Wonder where next my book journey would take me, maybe write my own? Hmmm! I see a Nobel laureate plaque on my table in the future.

How about you dudes and dudettes? Do you even read? You do, kindly share your in the comment box.


10 thoughts on “Zibah: Book Nerd

  1. I used to guzzle books. They were my best friends. I feel your journey through Bookdom mehn. I think I GRADUATED through several genres just like you. I miss Cyprian Ekwensi by the way. And the smell of old books *sniff*

  2. Lmao! I can’t blv u read those baby sitters club books as well! My journey is similar… Started with Enid Blyton’s books,archie, goose bumps, then those rubbish harlequins, they just filled me wit unrealistic expectations.. now i’m into e books! God bless e books! They’re cheap nd great for d environment. 😀

    • Yea, e-books rock. I can be up all night with my eyeballs filled with fat red exhausted veins but glued to my tablet, just trying to finish a book. Erm…I’m pretty sure you don’t buy your e-books #SayNoToPiracy

  3. My book journey is awkward though. I went from Academic to Spiritual, Business, Self-help books. I tried a couple of Christian Romance though, think of romance with some sanity to it, I loved it. Never been able to bring my self to try out detective books but I have an eye on them. I learnt they make folks smarter….lol

    • Academic: You would have to tie me down, and tuck a grenade into my pants to get me to study one
      Spiritual: Yea, i read them (studied Mysticism at a point, wasn’t good for my health)
      Self-Help books: All ’em “How to stop masturbating” books? Nah! Dont need them

      Detective books does make people smarter. Cant you tell from my blog *cackles like a deranged drunk 1880 witch*

  4. Lmfao! Knew u were weird, its obvious u are disturbed. Didn’t know u cld write so good tho. Great piece bro!

    • Yes I’ve read the entire series. Artemis makes me feel dense for a 24years old. I respect Eion Colfer though it took me years to start the Artemis File series, I’ve zero complaints. Have you read Jim Butcher’s Codex Alera and Dresden Files. Simon R Greene’s Deathstalker, Nightside and Secret history series. Rick Riordan’s Percy Jackson etc etc. All are great books and thoroughly exciting

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s