Mrs. Ibironke

Hi, Zibah here. This is the concluding part of the robbery post. It contains screenshots of my initial conversation with Mrs. Ibironke (the current owner of my stolen blackberry device).

It starts with me adding my (her) blackberry PIN on BlackBerry Messenger sometime around midnight, drafting the invite along the line of “Hey boo, miss you. Add me up on BBM”. Remember this ‘Aunty’ is allegedly married and inferring from her pattern of speech, her ‘husband’ seems like the kind of man whose invite would read something like “Ibironke na me. Oya press accept”.

By morning, I noticed that I had a new contact and judging by the time of acceptance it happened few minutes after I sent the invite. She must have been shivering in anticipation at the prospect of a “Nigerian Prince” (if you know what I mean). See rest of conversation below;

 

Screenshot_2014-07-18-12-12-42
This right here proves I have zero detective skills, i jumped right into it
Screenshot_2014-07-18-14-14-54
At this point, I had said something like “look woman, you are using a stolen phone”… Zero points again for subtlety Zibah
Screenshot_2014-07-18-14-15-01
Ouch! I should have kept my mouth (fingers shut (folded)
Screenshot_2014-07-18-14-15-09
…..and the misunderstanding proper began
Screenshot_2014-07-18-14-15-19
…then she got defensive
Screenshot_2014-07-18-14-15-27
Zibah still speaking English
Screenshot_2014-07-18-14-15-31
and more English
Screenshot_2014-07-18-16-33-02
Wrong move! decided to mess with her by pricking her religious conscience but this girl ain’t ‘loyal’

 You would ask yourself what was Zibah’s point of all this, honestly I have no clue. Did I want the phone back? Heck no (it felt somewhat ruined to me after the robbery). Did I think I would get the phone back? Double heck no; I did ask and Mrs Ibironke happily told me that she don’t play ball like that (bitch).

Our conversation spanned a total of 3 days and at some point I grew fed up conversing with her, constantly reading butchered English sentences led to further deterioration of my temper so I promptly terminated the chat, erased my (her) but not before wishing her a nice life rife with unfortunate accidents. The End.

In happier news, I am currently in the kitchen whipping up a mean heap of pancakes. I have absolutely no idea how this bit of info is relevant to the post or to you for that matter, I juster…had to let it out *shrughs*.

Cheers,

Chef Zee 🙂

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One thought on “Mrs. Ibironke

  1. Ah! I know an Ibironke o! Is it her? Lol
    You were too polite. Me, I will call her. Give her no to my pastor to call her. Ask my brother-in-law in the army to call her and threaten sense out of her head. Her husband must take me to whr he bought it.

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