THE dumpSTAR

You know how wise people say wise stuffs like don’t throw stones at glass houses, don’t cross the road with your ears plugged (like i did here) or look left, right and left (or is it right, left, right and left again? Insert confused face here). Well, Zibah here seems to have issues taking to such wise words.

“lol..that is preposterous. I can’t imagine being in such a position” I say.

Oh that’s me with an ear bud tucked tightly into my ears, rocking Ke$ha’s “Die young”, pinging on my Blackberry Torch device and walking absent mindedly on the road. Its final clearance today for my National Youth Service programme (NYSC). So I’m all decked in a Tom Ford white t-shirt, gucci grey belt, Tommy Hilfiger’s white shoes and a bag hand-made by Donatella Versace specially for my corper wear. Of course I know fashion heavyweights, what do you take me for? My fashionable dressing is to show ’em lazy ladies that can’t function without egunje (bribes) at my assigned Local Government that sticks and stones may break my bones but “….under the sun and in the rain” ain’t got nothing on me (ok that didn’t rhyme so well, I apologise Rihanna) .

Continue reading

MISS JESSICA

 

‘‘Oh dear Lord, I think he is the one. Do you know that the other day after I closed from work, he was at the waiting-room with a box of chocolate and warm, sexy oh-I-can’t-wait-to-eat-you-grin. Zibah are you even listening?’’ She asked as she poked me in the chest with her freshly manicured fingers. Before I could respond she had lapsed back into her reverie of romance….sheesh!! She reads far too many romance novels.

‘‘Last weekend, we had the most amazing adventure’’, she went on to recount the boat ride, the bowling, and the sex (darn gal, where is your dignity…..anal???). I had to take it all in stride as this is routine. Continue reading