Ms. Codeine

This post addresses the dangers of forced matchmaking and the importance of ocular sorcery. Don’t sweat it, you will understand soon enough- or not.

Whereas with women there are two breasts, which invites conversation, just as a good behind presents perfect punctuation, something every man knows.

Can’t make sense of the above? Well, neither can I dear, lets move on.

It still is the month of February so we are still on the rather unexciting subject of romanticism. It never occurred to me that Jessie’s promiscuity may have something to do with my lack thereof, or that Kenny is a self-appointed hoe who ‘loyally’ wingmans his way through incalculable flexible thighs and eager hearts while explaining it away as (over)compensation for the absence of my romantic endeavours, simply put, he whores for 2.

Males consider February as the blessed month of fornication. It is also a period where hampers are given out in expectation of favor(s). Friend-zoned males are given temporary status elevation in the hopes of an expensive showing of undying love-in physical manifestation of course. This February, Kenny decided to take on the task of finding me a ‘rewarding’ female thanks to my persistent single status.

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‘‘Oh dear Lord, I think he is the one. Do you know that the other day after I closed from work, he was at the waiting-room with a box of chocolate and warm, sexy oh-I-can’t-wait-to-eat-you-grin. Zibah are you even listening?’’ She asked as she poked me in the chest with her freshly manicured fingers. Before I could respond she had lapsed back into her reverie of romance….sheesh!! She reads far too many romance novels.

‘‘Last weekend, we had the most amazing adventure’’, she went on to recount the boat ride, the bowling, and the sex (darn gal, where is your dignity…..anal???). I had to take it all in stride as this is routine. Continue reading