Saturday Morning


“I am successful,

I look forward to find opportunities where others see nothing

i am a life-time…..” Success Affirmation-my phone’s ringtone by Olusola Lanre  droned on. I cracked open an eyelid to glimpse at the time and the caller ID so i could curse the person appropriately, it was Jesse, I cursed loudly. It’s the unholy hour of 10am  on a Saturday morning (yes, I am  so not a morning person).

“He-ll-o” I croaked

“Zibah, when last did we see, ah-ahn, the last time we hung out was in May. You owe me a hang-out with you picking up the tab….” my head immediately started hurting me while I saw red.

Y’all remember Jesse right? yes, the infuriating Accountant lady that crowned herself my side-kick. She does have her uses though like being an Alarm Clock.

“……are you even listening to me Zee, hello, hello…” she yelled into the speaker, before I could even reply she launched into another story of a new bar somewhere in Lagos that she must absolutely visit….with me picking up the tab of course.

“so when are we meeting?” she asked.

Zibah: I don’t know, I am quite busy.

Jesse: Don’t give me that, You have been repeating the same excuse for weeks. What are you my besty for?

(I have pleaded severally with Jesse to drop the besty shit before she gets it into her head to dress me in a gown and demands that we do each other’s nails)

Zibah: Ehn! you know how it is, that is why you have to let me know before hand. You need to force me out of the house or I will turn into a hermit and I won’t come for your wedding” I replied. I was super eager to end the call and go back to hugging my pillow but Jesse did not seem ready to get off the line even as my replies were barely coherent.

“hello, hello. Can you hear me?” I half-growled into the receiver

Jesse: I know you can hear me, stop pretending. In fact I am coming in

And with that she ended the call. Grateful to the god of Saturday for small favors, I tossed my phone into a corner and made to return to sleep then I remember Jesse’ last statement. “Coming in” what did she mean?

*ding ding* my frigging bell rang.

Aaaaaarrrgggh! I am so not getting the door. I thought of creeping to the power box and turning it off so as to deactivate the bell but as soon as I made the decision, I heard a key turn in the keyhole.


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