FEET DON’T FAIL ME NOW

“The weight of the world steadily increases on the shoulder,

Loneliness and sorrow torments the mind as a black void takes up permanent residence in the soul…..”

Okay, that’s some pretty dark and heavy sh*t. Ah! You wondering why I have suddenly taken up macabre poetry right, well a near brush with death would do that to you. I know, a normal person would be singing hymns but y’all know Zibah is anything but normal.I didn’t know Usain Bolt had nothing on me till yesterday when the cold remorseless fingers of the beyond moved in to grasp a tendril of my….oops, I’m doing it again, sorry. So something happened that spooked the indefatigable, dexterous, charmingly awesome (ok, I’m blowing my trumpet but indulge me this once. May I go on? Yes, thanks), blindingly aristocratic- ok I made that up, don’t even know what it means sef. Right!! moving on to what turned Zibah into a poet; i trust i would return safely to my silly old self after a few shots of brandy…i keep a bottle of strong stuff under my bed just for days like this. Yes yes, I’m a closet drunk, whatever that means. The story;

The fastest means of setting the mischief in me free and giving it free reign to cause havoc and annihilation of civilians and world obliteration (relax, I’m just being theatrical) is via boredom. Boredom-that silent otherworldly female that creeps up on you unaware and then goes on to plant her butt firmly in your brain causing one to be restless, impatient, unhappy and utterly miserable, well earlier today, she made herself at home in my head and she is quite obese. Why is it a she? Cos its females that bring trouble *ducks from blows*.

Anyway, around 7pm I had had enough so I donned my jogging shorts, a black t-shirt, sneakers, grabbed my IPod and plugged my ears, all set, I stepped out into an amazingly cool evening. It felt so good I let out a whoop of glee for Mother Nature and boredom immediately took a hike. My destination was the Badagry express road still under construction, it’s quite some distance from my crib but it’s a journey I have effortlessly made countless times. It may sound a tad odd that I constantly visit a construction site and like to stand on the bridge and inspect the progress and that I find it comforting. The road is near completion now and I currently have a favourite spot on the bridge. Scrolling towards my playlist, I select Dev’s ‘In the Dark’, push the buds deeper into my ear and successfully drown out the noise of the world, set my brain and leg to locate my destination and tuned out.

It really is a beautiful night, the kind of night best spent expressing love. Before you ask, I’m not a poignant romantic. In fact I had every romantic bone surgically removed so now I’m just a mean ol’ bat *chuckles*. I’m currently atop the bridge; at my favourite spot that is not-at-the-centre but is more on the right (do you find it odd that I have a favourite spot on a bridge?). My present song is Jessie J’s ‘Who you are’, I set it on repeat and watch cars speeding with reckless abandon, commercial bikes with immensely dense riders performing illegal stunts and putting pedestrians at risk, there was even a goat walking down the road with its numerous kids as if it had every right to be there instead of in a bowl of soup. I sniffed indignantly at mama goat and her offspring, such nerves!!!

The reflective song, the cool night breeze, lightening flashing across the distant sky, It was pure bliss. I was relaxed to a state that extensive therapy has never before achieved (pls don’t ask about my therapy sessions, my last shrink I heard had to go into therapy herself *shrugs*). Going for a walk/jogging at night does wonders to my mind and coming here too helps. Don’t roll your eyes at me because I seek refuge from my inner demons atop a pedestrian bridge with sober songs filtering into my brain. Some find their peace in the bottle or between the thighs of ladies with questionable character, granted the latter isn’t exactly a bad way to go *winks at thighs but not the ladies*.

Minutes flow into hours and the night became chilly so I reluctantly made my way down the bridge and headed for home. Music now on random and completely shutting the world out I made my way back home lighter and happier than I’d been the entire week and….why are people running away from me? I just assumed it was my awesomeness freaking them out till I realised that the night was suddenly lit up. I popped one then the other bud outta my ears and heard a sound like electrical sparking. I looked up just in time to see the electricity pole a few metres above me catch fire and the wires sparking wildly and lighting the entire sky. It was chaos; the shout of warning from people, the honking from cars, the noisy electrical wire that seemed to be engaged in a sensual dance, looking for exposed skin to fry. Before I could blink, my legs powered by adrenaline and a need to live bolted at the speed of light even as my brain was still analysing the situation. Everything around me slowed down as I shattered both Usain Bolt and Mariah Carey’s record and made ’em cry home to their mama; I ran and let out a piercing high pitched girly scream. When I was comfortably out of harm’s way and breathing harshly, I summoned the courage to look at the wreckage behind me. If I had lingered a few more seconds, chances are that I would still be on the road with smoke exiting from various orifices. My feet saved me. Is it odd at this point to say that I peeked left and right to see if bystanders were pointing and laughing their heads off at the guy who put Mariah to shame (what!! I’m safe now cant I be vain?). Satisfied that no one was paying me any attention and no life was lost, I hastily made my way home while tucking the silly ear buds in my pocket.

So now you understand why imma stay a poet for a few more hours.

Alrighty, I’m outta here. I require a few shots of my ever faithful brandy (reaches for the bottle) then I would prolly wrap myself in a blanket and play Enya all night and hope I don’t dream of electricity.

Cheers,

Still freaked Zibah ♥̸̨

August 20, 2012December 22, 2012 by Zibah! Categories: Zibah!Tags: Electrocution, flee, Humor, Lana Del Rey, near death experience, poetry, sarcasm, Usain Bolt, zibah 3 Comments