RUMOUR HAS IT

Its unofficial information that may or may not be true

Rumour has it that;

  • Weird MC does in fact have a pen*s
  • A man’s G-spot can be found somewhere in his anus (hmmm! This explains a lot)
  • Alfred Nobel invented dynamite in 1866 because the sound reminded him of his wife’s snore. Fact or fiction?
  • The first African American president of the USA ushered in a new dawn for the world; good or bad, time would tell
  • More germs are transferred shaking hands than kissing
  • The old civilisation gods and goddesses do exist. What have they been up to over the centuries? I dunno
  • A blackberry Porsche does have the ability to connect one to celestial beings. This rumour goes on to says that such connection is only possible via GLO BIS while standing in the middle of a highway
  • 10 percent of all human beings ever born are alive at this very moment
  • Homo sapiens are the mutant babies of two sexy primates
  • One day Nigerians would forget to shout ‘up NEPA’ when the power supply is restored
  • The answer to tackling HIV/AIDS lies within the genetic coding of the virus
  • Humans have been successfully cloned  and. Survivors live on a remote island in Europe
  • The missionary sex position was invented by missionaries *blinks*
  • The Petroleum Minister in Nigeria- Diezani Alison-Madueke has a degree in Architecture
  • From the ashes of chaos and desolation, a new Nigeria may be born. Negatively apocalyptic? I know
  • One million, million, million, million, millionth of a second after the Big Bang; the Universe was the size of a…pea
  • 80% of people give up just when their breakthrough is right in front of them
  • Over one million earthquakes shake the Earth every year
  • As an adult, you have more than 20 square feet of skin on your body-about the same square footage as a blanket for a queen-sized bed
  • 40 years ago, an all-female population of lizards was discovered in Armenia. Lesbian lizards???
  • Zibah isn’t quite human but is a being of unknown origin. Fact or fiction?
  • The level of prostitution in Nigeria has increased since Blackberry became a status symbol. Hello prostitute, ever held an iphone or high end Android?
  • Yesterday never existed, today is the very first day of your life.
  • The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation
  • Cleopatra married two of her brothers
  • If you could drive your car straight up, you would drive in space in  just over an hour
  • If a native Hawaiian woman places the flower on her right ear, she is available (Nigeria women?)
  • Wounds infected with maggots heal quickly and without the spread of gangrene or other infection
  • Actor Mark Wahlberg has a third nipple. Fact or fiction? Please don’t ask if I have seen it
  • 23% of all photocopiers faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their butts
  • Every hour the Universe expands by a billion miles in all directions
  • There is a lake under Antartica that is 25million years old called Lake Vostok
  • There is no mention of Adam and Eve actually eating the apple in the Bible
  • A dead male can achieve erection as long as the cadaver dies facing downward
  • In Japan, it is completely acceptable to name your child ‘‘Buttocks’’

There you have it, remember an iota of truth exist in every rumour…or not. Tomorrow, the Christians celebrate Easter, remember what it stands for and be an ambassador for good. Also, you can DM me on twitter @_zibah extending your hospitability and your desire to host me at your dining tables.

Have a splendid celebration/holiday y’all. Much love *plugs headphone and jams Adele’s ‘Rumour has it’*

Cheers,

Zibah.

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